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Keeping in Touch with Your Siblings-Thru Thick and Thin

In many families, moving away is a common part of growing up. How do you stay close with your siblings when you don’t live near them. How do you deal with siblings who leave you out or don’t visit when they’re in town. A Vocalpoint member wants to know what to do!

Discussion

Jackie
9/29/2009

I have discovered that just because you share a bloodline with someone does not mean you will share automatic chemistry. I have had friends in my life that I felt closer to than my own sister and brother. Our personalities are so complex and varied that when we are fortunate enough to meet people that we bond with, we should not take it for granted.

anonymous
9/29/2009

I am fortunate enough to have my brother and sister withen 30 miles from me. But a phone call or email can do wonders. Keep in touch, let them know what you are up to and ask about them. Someday they will come to realize your intentions are sincere. My husbands sisters live far away and we don't get to see them but once a year (sometimes) I email and let them know what is going on in our lives, they don't reciprocate but I feel better knowing I am trying to keep the link in the family. And if you have found such a dear friend, GREAT! I don't have that so I envy you! my mother, sister and daughter are my best friends.

Mona
9/29/2009

My sisters and I live 700+ miles apart. Needless to say we cannot spend a great deal of time together. When one of our sisters died last year, the importance of "sisterhood" came sharply into focus. We scheduled a "Sister's Weekend" the second week of August, 2008 and the remaining three sisters met in Cincinnati for a three day weekend with no husbands, no kids and no cell phones/laptops. It was incredible to say the least. We shared the expense of a hotel room and it was actually a very inexpensive weekend. We laughed, we cried, we told stories and we vowed we would do it every year from now on. In August of this year, we reserved a gorgeous cabin in the Smoky Mountains and again shared three very precious days. Throughout the year, we stay in touch on a daily/weekly basis and think and brainstorm about where we want to go next. We do the research, put our ideas on the table, make a decision and then the fun begins! We have found that this one weekend a year has been the best thing for our relationship. We realized that God, in his infinite wisdom, chose US to be sisters and that we must treasure and develop that relationship as long as we live and we are absolutely loving that decision. I went from having almost no relationship with my sisters since I moved away 22 years ago to having a deep loving relationship with them and that....is a priceless treasure.

Debbie
9/29/2009

I, too have a sibling that lives away. When she comes into town, she visits my sister, brother and mother. I am very close with family except for her. It hurts, but I can't change things. So, when I do see her for the holidays, I'm very nice. I email her from time to time to update her on my life and to find out about hers, but no response. I'm older and the only one married, don't know if that has anything to do with her lack of interest or not. I do have friends that I feel so much closer to, weird, HuH? So, my saga continues and probably always will. It does get easier each passing day. I'm just glad to have my mom and other siblings.

Denise
9/29/2009

I am having problems with my older sibling who is much older than my younger sister and I. After our parents died, we tried to be closer, but it was hard. We do alot of stuff for her kids and their kids, but it does not seem appreciated. Recently, we had a big blow up. One of my cousins posted some hateful things on facebook about my younger sister and I. I have only helped this girl in her life. My niece is getting married in a couple of weeks and I told my sister I could not go to the wedding with this person there after what she said. My older sister said she would not tell my cousin not to come to the wedding, I am heartbroken, due to my health I can't be stressed and going to the wedding with her there would put undue stress on me, and it is not right that my sister would rather my cousin go than her own sisters.

prit
9/29/2009

i do share the agony/pleasure/wiered ness of not having close relationsip to my sisters.. i do feel more connected to my friends..but i do keep in touch with a phone call a week.. it seems to me that there has to be one commom ground now for us are our kids to feel that connection again but also adds complexity of being into another family..we all r married .. so we have own life to live but i feel sad when i see other sisters share a deep connection. I do my best though to keep it going always !

Donna
9/29/2009

Twenty-one years ago I moved from the bay area in California to Columbia, MO. My family, Mom and sisters were still in CA. We kept in touch with weekly phone calls. Later both my sisters and I got computers and we email alot. One will start a letter, send to another and then to the third sister. The third sister would start a new letter responding to the others and around we'd go. Then we'd copy the letters and mail them to Mom.After the first couple of years we started taking turns flying back and forth. Mom passed away in 2000. We miss her and keep her memory alive by sharing memories when we get together.It's work but worth it to keep in touch.

Nina
9/29/2009

I am a 'middle chiild' and the only girl. Growing up, I idolized my big brother. He was so cool! But when he turned 18, he left home and never looked back. I was heart-broken and confused. to this day, I don't know where I stand with him. He comes to the city close to where I live, but never calls to sy meet for lunch, or anything. He is an executive for a large company, but he never has time for his family. I keep in close contact with the younget brother and we share everything.Love them both dearly.

Bethany
9/29/2009

All 4 of us stay in touch but not closely. The elder two we hear about through parental updates or directly a few times a year via email mainly. The younger and I are close and stay in touch via email phone and even texting.

DEBRA
9/29/2009

I moved away from my home (VA) when I was sixteen and moved to GA to live with my step-aunt & uncle. Want go into th details, but just had to leave. All my family live in VA. I have 4 brothers, lots of nieces and newphews and I truly miss them alot. Growing up my brothers we always had a close relationship and still do. I do try and visit a couple times a year, but what saddens me is they always want me and my husband (my parents) to come there and it breaks my heart that my family members want drive here. But thanks to facebook I am able to stay in touch all the time. But sure would like it if they came here once in awhile. I can't even remember when it was the last time they came here.

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